I’ve been thinking a lot recently (What with my Great Pivot and all) that one of my favourite Negative Nancy thoughts is:
“I’m not good enough!”
Ooh it’s a juicy one isn’t it?
Here are five times it’s cropped up for me over the years I’ve been running this biz and what the reality actually was.
“I’m not good enough to call myself an expert”
Reality: I know more than the people who are listening to me. More to the point they want to learn from me, that’s why they follow me, engage with me, and pay me to be in their lives. It’s a completely relative term anyway. Don’t hang your coat on it too much. I definitely have over the years and became paranoid that people would find out that I didn’t know anything. Turns out not only did I know plenty, but that in itself was purely imposter syndrome which everyone has anyway!
“I’m not good enough to teach what I do”
Reality: Not only do I have reams of feedback from people who enjoy learning from me, but I have the results of what they’ve put into action. In fact, I am now so confident in my style of teaching that I am putting together a course on this very topic (sharing info with your audience, launching it, all that jazz. Email me back if you want in on the waiting list)
“I’m not good enough to be active on social media”
Reality: It’s not actually about how I feel. It’s about how I want to serve the people I want to work with. I keep showing up and whoever wants to listen and learn from me is great. If I was scared of making mistakes I have made many anyway, there’s no avoiding it. And how would I ever learn if I didn’t keep showing up on social media and knowing what my audience want to hear from me, what I want to share there, and how I want to communicate with the world? Done truly IS better than perfect as I love to say!
“I’m not good-looking enough / sound good enough to do video”
Reality: I really didn’t need to wait until I felt better about my appearance or my voice to start doing videos. I remember when Instagram Stories first launched and I would cry when business coaches suggested I start using video. But you know what? No one is looking at that bit on my face that I personally dislike. No one is looking at the weird thing my hair does sometimes (unless I bring attention to it, which these days I do because I do not care!) The accent I used to resent but now I’ve embraced that I do sound like Emma Thompson! If that is the reason why people don’t want to buy from me that is actually nothing to do with me.
“I’m not good enough to write blogs to share with my audience”
Reality: I’ve been blogging since day one in 2012. In fact I had many other secret blogs before that but they’ve all been lost to the dawns of time. In fact, I believe in blogs so much that I became an SEO expert. I teach loads about this in my Visible Vibes membership community.
So what’s my point? Well, when we think we’re not good enough it’s actually because we aren’t really sure what good enough is.
So let’s switch that thinking on it’s head, shall we? Instead, let’s ask ourselves the question:
What IS good enough? In other words, what does success look like to me?
I talk quite a bit to clients and members about measuring your success because it’s different for everybody. Some people like to complain that I won’t give a set number that they have to reach. As if getting to that number will mean they’ve passed the exam.
Think about it. At school we were told we had to get a certain score on a test in order to be considered good enough. We were constantly measured against our peers and then scored accordingly. At my own school we were ranked in order of our test scores in every subject. I went to a school where we only had 25 girls in my year, so you can imagine the level of competition that ensued.
We all want to do our best when we’re motivated.
And what’s more motivating to entrepreneurs like us than figuring out what our best is? Is it a six figure turnover? Is it getting big bookings? Is it building a team? Is it something softer than that? Is it a bit of all or none of the above?
For me, I first hit the six figure turnover in 2020 and each year since and it was exciting, don’t get me wrong, but I was so tired and focused on work that actually I wanted to restructure my offerings so that I could pivot. It didn’t bring me the happiness at the end of the rainbow.
Instead, the things that have meant more success to me are about having the freedom to build my business how I wish to. I love teaching women who love learning from me, I love showing up to work with creative people, I love enjoying my own home (I NEVER thought it was possible to live on my own in London), I love being owned by a large and fluffy cat, I love having my niecelette to stay, and having a local community of pals (rarely possible in London), and I love having the time to be creative outside of work with my drama group. That’s success to me.
We all want success in life. There is nothing wrong with that.
Until we define what success means to us, we’ll never be successful let alone take credit for being so. Don’t stress about it, define what success means to you.
If you’re in need of inspiration read these answers…..
I asked my wedding planner pal Chenai
“Coming from a corporate background I was only ever going to reach a certain point in that career but with my own business, there is no ceiling for creativity, financial income, the resources available or the structure that I can work within. I have the freedom to design this business exactly how I wish to.”
And then I put the question out to my Visible Vibes members:
“My Visible Vibes member Jess, a gorgeous illustrator said this “Success to me is a mixture of things: Doing work that makes a difference and positively impacts others; ensuring that I am caring for my own wellbeing and creating a sustainable work routine; and creating work that I am truly proud of and passionate about.”
“It’s being proud of what I’ve built “
“It’s a warm gooey feeling inside when you know you’ve done your best and you can see the results! I don’t link it to specifics or income – it’s all about the feels “
“Success for me means having the freedom to choose the commissions that inspire me creatively and working when I want to work.”
“Success to me is leading a life that feels fulfilling, having connected relationships, saying yes to the opportunities that come my way and creating impact in the lives of those I work with.“
The doors to my Visible Vibes membership will be opening again soon, come join the waiting list here.
In the meantime, come tell me on Instagram what this blog made you consider? Have you been holding yourself back because you thought you weren’t good enough? What does success mean to you? I’d love to hear from you.